1. Speed Limits
In
order to avoid being hypocritical, I will make my statements on the matter
brief. Go the speed limit. If the sign says 25 go 25. If the sign says 45 go
46.
2. Left Lane vs. Right Lane
If
you don’t want to heed the advice given above, remember to stay in the right
line. The left lane is meant for passing and getting places. If you intend to
take your time, stay right.
3. Tailgating
Tailgating
is stupid and annoying. Just stop. The only thing that is more excruciating
than the slow driver in front of you is paying the traffic ticket for a rear
end collision.
Note for the
Tailgatee: Just let off the gas. Eventually they’ll get the point.
4. Turn Signals
Last
I checked this wasn't an optional add-on for your vehicle. Use them. It’s not
that I really care where you are going because I don’t. It’s just that it’s
really easy to flip a lever up or down and if you can’t do that maybe you
shouldn't be driving.
5. Stop Signs
You
know those big red signs that you slow down for and then quickly check for cops
before taking off again? It takes one second longer to just stop completely and
then go again. Not to mention the complete satisfaction you’ll feel when you've
followed one of the simplest of driving laws.
6. 4-way Stops
It’s
like the whole stop sign thing, but with a twist. Instead of one big red sign,
there are four of ‘em! Wowzers! I know what you’re thinking. That’s a lot of big
red signs and I’m a little overwhelmed. It can seem tricky at first, but it’s
only a matter of counting. Once you've stopped at the big red sign, allow all the
other cars who stopped before you to proceed, then it’s your turn. If more than
10 cars have gone before you, you’re doing it wrong.
When approaching a
4-way stop, don’t believe that by coming into it faster and then quickly stopping, you will be guaranteed the right to go first. Four way stops aren't a
matter of aggression nor are they an opportunity to "pay it forward". Don’t try to be the nice guy. 4-way
stops work on a straight up, first come, first serve basis. Keep it that way.
7. Cell Phones
Allow me to let you down gently. DESPITE
YOUR OWN PERSONAL OPINION OF YOURSELF, YOU STINK AT MULTITASKING. Talking on
your cell phone while driving is just a bad combination.
8. Bikers in the Road
This
one is for the bikers that think they can cut the mustard when it comes to “big
boy roads.” I have no beef against bikers using the roads, but if you ride in
the middle of the lane without following the speed limit, go back to the
sidewalks. Big boy roads are for big boy bikers.
9. Shared Left Turn Lane
Note
the terms “shared” and “*turn lane” in the phrase “shared left turn lane”. By
dissecting these key words, we discover that one must also yield to opposing traffic using the same lane while also realizing
that it is meant for turning left.
*Not to be confused with the terms “passing
lane” or “merging lane”
10. Conversations in the Middle of the Street
I
don’t care how long it has been since you last talked with that buddy of yours
who just happened to be checking his mailbox at the same time you were driving
past, but you have no right to stop your car in the middle of the road, roll down your window, and begin
catching up on each other’s lives. I will not just ignore it and go around you.
I will wait (and honk depending on my mood) until you get the point. If you want to talk, pull over.
11. Crosswalks
This
message goes out to both parties at fault.
Pedestrians: Crosswalks were made for you
to use. Traffic is required to yield to you at crosswalks, so use them to your
advantage. Stop jaywalking.
People in Cars: Stop at crosswalks. Don’t think that you can just blow by it. You are bigger than pedestrians, but you aren't bigger than the law.
12. Honking
Car
horns are meant for road rage, not for saying “hi” to the guy across the
intersection. If you’re happy while you are using your horn, YOU ARE DOING IT
WRONG.
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